Dear Paul

I’m down to less than 2 weeks until I pop! Actually, Haniah can come out anytime now since I’m already on my 38th week! Paul and I are a pretty laid back and chill couple, but I know we’re both excited to discover what parenthood will be like. Many of our married friends with children have already told us how everything will change—our daily routine, our priorities, and our dynamics at home. It’s a lot to take in, but we are assured that He who is faithful will continue to walk with us in this next chapter.

We’ve been having late night talks about what we should do differently once Niah arrives and how we should always be at our best. I remember in one of those nights, Paul jokingly asked me, “You will love me more, right?” Then he added on a more serious note, “We should love each other more, even more than Niah.” And I agree.

I will always love my husband more, but it will never be a matter of comparison. I believe it’s a matter of honoring God’s design for marriage and fulfilling one’s vow. Marriage is supposed to be an unbreakable bond formed when two individuals make a committed decision to be each other’s for life. I made a vow before God that I will choose him every day—“loving him with a love that knows no bounds, a love that knows no ends”. My loyalty will always be with Paul. We’d be getting ahead of ourselves when we think about how Niah will one day have her own family, God-willing. But that’s reality and I embrace it with joy. I know that the best gift we can give Niah is the security of being loved by parents who are first committed to a Christ-centered marriage. When our marriage is solidified in Jesus, then and only then are we able to love this little human the right way without compromising our relationship.

So yes, my husband, you will always be my greatest blessing. In this married journey, I know there will be days when you won’t feel that way. I know in the months to come, you might only get what’s left of me after I’ve given my best to Niah. I know I will lose my patience and might act unkindly towards you when I lack sleep. I apologize in advance (hehe). Please try to remember that next to God, you are and will always be my most treasured answered prayer. I hope and pray that my words and actions will reflect this.

The past 9 months went by so quickly! Here are some photos we can always look back to.

  • The night I told him I was pregnant!
  • Our first visit to my OB-GYN
  • The evening we told our parents
  • First ultrasound
  • Our gender reveal to our family
  • Some of our friends throwing us a gender reveal party/baby shower
  • Paul squeezed in one last travel to Sapporo for our 2nd year anniversary ❤️

Thank you for loving me just as much even if I’m huge and sweaty with angry stretchmarks!

Hon, I’m dedicating this post to you and being extra sweet so that when the grumpy me decides to come out, this should make up for it. Hahaha kidding! I’m writing this to remind myself of how you deserve my best… because you’re simply the best!

I love you!

2 thoughts on “Dear Paul

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